I never realized how true it all was

'till it happened to me!
Bukowski

Here's my try at similar stuff...

For Amber: With All the Love I Had, Which Was Not Enough


I walk around our house
Lonely
Knowing the love that I had was not enough

I pick up things we shared
Sadly
Feeling I gave it my best shot

I sit in places we shared
Asking
How could I lose something so huge in a place so small?

I sleep where we made love
Crying
Convincing myself there must be some other way

I wake up every day
Wondering
Why the love I had was not enough…


Confused

I am a confused man sitting alone
Wondering where the good luck
Went.

Is this the delayed onset?
Seven years of bad things
Begun

Dreams shattered and scattered
Pieces of a mirror
Destroyed

Realization

Today I realize

Finally

What matters most is not

How well you walk through the fire

It is what you do on the other side

Check your feet for scars

And move on


Is this Suicide or Homicide?

Sadly enough, we are all alone forever

This realization slowly kills me

I let it do its painful work

And help it along

By crying


Some suicides are never recorded


This one will never make the books

It happened quietly

In the privacy of the living room

He left the one he loved

And ripped the last trusting part

From his still beating heart


It’s not myself I worry about…

It is not myself I worry about

It’s my wife

Left with this pile of nothing

Remnant of a life

Makes even our old arguments

Beautiful strife

All consuming thoughts of her

Cut like a knife…


Fuck you, world… god, mom, wife

My heart dead,

The world ablaze.

I’ll remember your kisses the best